The Spiral of Self Doubt is REAL

There are two areas of life I struggle with most when it comes to confidence.  Work and Relationships.  I used to be confident at work until I became the “older one” in the group of professionals.  Somehow, time, technology, and generations passed without my approval!  I thought I was doing my best staying up to date with it all.  Now, I feel like I am running a hundred miles an hour to stay a million miles behind. 

In relationships, I used to be “the one” that was needed and wanted more than anything on this earth.  Now I am experiencing, in all types of relationships, I am disposable at anytime for any reason.  When did caring and loving for someone stop meaning something?  Isn’t that what people need to live their best?  All the sudden, I can just be another chapter in someone’s book that they got tired of reading.  That shakes me to the core! And for someone that has as much anxiety as I do, it doesn’t bode well for sleep on a day to day basis. #melatoninisn’tcuttingit

Both areas send me into a spiral of doubting my worth.  WHY?  I wish I knew what changed in my mind set and when.  I try positive thinking, loving myself, “knowing my worth”, and all the right things.  BUT, I am still human, with emotions and a desire to feel loved.  How does one rebuild confidence and restore their inner bad@ss when their resilience is fading or busy spiraling in the what if’s?

Lot of questions there to unpack.  I need the strength to continue with the right way to process and resolve or just go savage, “do me” without regret.